Rhoda's Tact Shack

Dear Universe,

trainwrecks:

lovepuppy:

(a serious question)

I want to leave a situation that isn’t what I want to be doing. I don’t want to give it any more of my energy. How can I re-focus when I spend the majority of time in that situation and it requires so much of me?

In other words, girl’s gotta relocate.

Can you hear me?

xoxo

Jessica

Dear Jessica,

I, in my infinite wisdom, have found it is in poor taste to broadcast to the internet how much you want to leave your current job. This presents an awkward and difficult situation for your bosses and coworkers, who now know that you are unhappy and just waiting out your time to leave. It makes them question your commitment to performing in your current job, and it puts them in a bind in terms of finding a replacement for you. You haven’t informed them you’re quitting, so it would be improper for them to look to hire. In fact, it makes it look like you’re taking advantage of them: riding out your current job for a paycheck while you look for something you *really* want to do.

And as an addendum to that last bit, you may have heard that these are difficult economic times. Here’s a fun fact: unemployment is expected to hit 9% by this time next year (that means it will be going UP over the course of this current year). The upshot of that is that there are fewer jobs to go around, even in the Magical Wonderland of New York. However, I realize this means little to you, as you have a direct link to me, and I am here to grant all of your wishes, so long as you just wish hard enough.

Keeping your Secret,

The Universe

(Eds. note: probably should have let Rhoda tackle this one.)

 Oh no, this is very tactful advice, Ms. Universe!  Well played. 

Oh my, how tacky!

markyb:

trainwrecks:

Dear Trainwrecks readers,

I thought I was logged into my tact shack blog when I posted the last two entries.  I’m so embarrassed, but way too lazy to copy and paste them.

In tact,

Rhoda

That’s OK, probably get more traffic on TW. Thanks for putting me in my place and welcome back.

And you can dish it back out to boot.  Thanks for the warm welcome.

Giving and Receiving

lovepuppy:

I am a really touchy/feely person and I am this way because one time I heard/read something like “people need to be touched 5 times a day to not go insane”. And I’m a little afraid of that sometimes. I also just love hugs and kisses.

But it makes me a little sad that I am usually the person that wants to hug and kiss everyone else and people don’t try to hug or kiss me that much. Maybe I beat them to it? Or they don’t like touching as much? I dunno. I want to be hugged!

Dear Lovepuppy,

When approaching another person with intent to touch them, it’s important to notice social cues.  Regardless of a hugger’s kind intentions, some people, myself included, don’t really like hugging anyone but very close friends and family.  Regardless of how much you want to be hugged, it’s important that the receiving party wants to be hugged as well.  Consent:  it’s not just for fucking!  The more you know.

In tact,
Rhoda

Clarification of my earlier post - which appears to have pressed some buttons

billda:

My original missive, which sparked so much righteous anger among female Tumblrs:

“Girls are incredibly annoying this way - give you the vibe all night, accept your drinks, flirt, then come last call, she and her friends all bounce together in what seems like 10 seconds. And so, after this happened to me a few times, I too no longer buy girls drinks. Do you hear that women? Stop complaining that men are not nice to you - because it’s your own fault. Nice guys finish last it seems.”

I should have been more clear. I’m not referring to the girl you meet at happy hour, buy a drink or two, and exchange numbers. There is nothing wrong with that.

What I am referring to is the girl that is slamming back jäger shots on your tab for two hours and giving all the signs that she DOES want to continue the night later. Don’t pretend you haven’t all been there, and don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about - it’s called using guys for drinks, and I bet you’ve done it yourself at some point in your life.

See the reblog below, as joshuawolf put it better than I could.

Do you think that guys should just buy the girl drinks then avoid speaking to her the rest of the night? I can treat a girl with all the respect in the world, but I’d expect at the very least a “It was nice meeting you but I have to go” at the end of the evening. Now, I’m not saying that flirting with a girl and buying her drinks means she is obligated to come back to my place or even give me her number, but I’m here to have a good time and enjoy myself too; not to be taken advantage of because I’m trying to be nice.

I think while the message he sent was misspoken, the basis of it is clear: What good is it to be the nice guy when you receive the cold shoulder in return?

via (joshuawoulf)

Wow, that clears up a lot.  Hon, if you’re giving a stranger open access to your bar tab, you’re not a nice guy or a “nice guy,” you’re a pushover.  FYI, putting a woman you’ve just met on your bar tab is generally perceived as presumptuous and icky.  So, given that she thinks you’re a presumptuous and icky pushover who she will never ever kiss, let alone fuck, what else is there for her to do but pound back frat-tastic shots until you grow a metaphorical backbone and take back your metaphorical balls or she decides to leave?  Nothing. 

In tact,

Rhoda

The Rhoda to my Mary!

icanseenewyorkcityfrommyhouse:

I was surreptitiously browsing Pets Finder and came across what must be destiny. A dog named Rhoda! She only gets better!

Like Scarlett O’Hara of “Gone with the Wind”, our gal Rhoda has vowed never to go hungry again and is in foster care in Hoboken. Since Rhoda is so very grateful for any attention, she is a joy to groom and would do best with an active person or couple looking for an active dog. Likewise, she will snuggle after an activity filled day.

Amazon.com Users Still Not Sure Who/What This Amy Sedaris Person Is.

ericasavestheday:

A friend pointed this out to me today: from the Amazon.com reviews of the hilarious Amy Sedaris book “I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence”

Offensive and vulgar, January 11, 2007 By S. Hart

I purchased several of these “cookbooks” to give as gifts to my mom, my step-mom and mother-in-law for Christmas, as well as one to keep for myself. I didn’t have time to look over the cookbook until the weekend before Christmas (after I had wrapped and mailed my gifts) and was shocked to find vulgar language, discussion on feminine hygiene, and other offensive (when not expected—especially in a cookbook!)content. Even though the intent was probably humor when the book was written, I had to make a lot of apologies and was embarassed to have purchased such an item for my mothers! The book should be rated “R” for content, and a warning issued regarding its content prior to a purchase.

This is almost good enough to have been written by Sedaris herself. Almost.

Oh, good heavens.  I can think of no tactful way to say to your loved ones “hey, I love you so much that I bought four cookbooks written by an author whose work I don’t know.  It turns out, she’s a rather crass performance artist who is really good at making cupcakes and loves bunnies a lot.  I mean, if I had browsed for two seconds before I panic-bought those cookbooks, the high degree of kitsch  would have been apparent, but I didn’t.  Oopsie.  Sorry!  Next year, I’ll get you a Moosewood or a Giada or something.”

But the upshot is that some of the recipes in that book are pretty good.  And really, who doesn’t need the occasional tutorial on feminine hygiene?